Jarvis Almighty
by MARVELous life
Summary: Jarvis runs a house, answers every question, and has managed to create quite a funny problem for Tony, Pepper, and a teacher. Movie-verse!


**Look at that, two stories in two days! This is just a little oneshot that I decided would be fun to write. And it's much happier than yesterday's story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own nothing, not even Jarvis! **

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Tony Stark hated meetings. He especially hated parent-teacher meetings. As a child, most of the meeting that had taken place between his parents and his teachers were because Tony was in trouble for blowing up, hot wiring, or just plain destroying something or other.

So when he and Pepper received a call from Ms. Langley, their son's second grade teacher, requesting a meeting, Tony wasn't very happy.

"All I'm saying is that if people have to sit in this office for so long, waiting for the teacher, the school could at least make this place more comfortable," Tony said to Pepper, who was sitting in the chair to his right.

"Tony, installing a fully operational bar in a _school_ isn't even _legal_," his wife argued back.

Tony _hmph_ed and sat back even further in his chair, if possible. "Where is the teacher, anyway? Happy's had the car running outside for at least half an hour."

"It's only been ten minutes, Tony. I'm sure Ms. Langley just had to finish grading some papers or something."

"Or getting a drink from the bar that's probably in the teacher's lounge," Tony grumbled.

"Tony…" Pepper warned. She smiled a bit, though, and bit back a chuckle. Leave it to her husband to think about alcohol instead of wondering what the meeting was about.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stark, thank you for coming on such short notice," a voice said from the doorway.

Tony and Pepper turned their heads to see a thirty-something woman, supposedly Ms. Langley. Pepper stood to shake hands with the woman, while Tony remained seated and gave a curt nod.

Ms. Langley crossed to the other side of the room and sat in the chair on the other side of the mahogany desk.

"It's not a problem, really. We'd just like to know why you called us here," Pepper prompted, her professional P.A. skills kicking in.

"Well, we've been having some problems with James," Ms. Langley said, talking about Tony and Pepper's son, who had been named for Colonel James Rhodes and was currently being watched by said Colonel.

"What kind of problems?" Pepper pressed.

"Religious problems." At this, Tony sat up and put the tablet he had been playing with in his pocket.

"Religious problems?" He repeated. He shot a confused glance at Pepper, who returned the look. They hadn't raised their son to be very religious at all. In fact, they couldn't recall ever teaching him more than the basics of religion. Was that the problem?

"Yes," Ms. Langley confirmed. "He had been claiming to personally know God." At this, Pepper and Tony raised their eyebrows.

Pepper immediately jumped to her son's defense and said, "Maybe you misheard him."

"Oh, no, I heard him correctly. He brags about it quite a bit."

"Well, what does he say?" Tony questioned.

"He says that your whole family knows God; that He lives in your house. James says God answers every question that he asks, and that God takes orders from you two."

"Is that all?" Pepper asked.

"He says that God's name is Jarvis."

At this, Pepper laughed quietly while Tony burst into full blown laughter.

"This is not something to be laughing about!" Ms. Langley said angrily.

Tony and Pepper only laughed a little harder. They would definitely have to talk to James about this.

"Jarvis," Pepper began, having better control of her vocals than Tony did, " is the artificial intelligence that Tony created. He's a computer system that pretty much runs the house." Ms. Langley looked utterly baffled.

Tony regained some control of his laughter, pulled out his phone, and said, "You can talk to him if you want."

Somewhat amazed, Ms. Langley nodded and watched as Tony dialed his house phone.

She became even more enthralled as the phone didn't even ring, as it should have with no one home. Instead, smooth British voice came over the line immediately.

"No one is currently available at the Stark residence in Malibu at the moment. If you wish to leave a message, I would be happy to take it for you. Simply press one, and then wait for my word."

"Jarvis, it's me," Tony said.

"Hello, sir," Jarvis responded. "What can I do for you?"

"This is Ms. Langley, James's teacher. She wanted to meet you."

"Uh, hi, Jarvis," Ms. Langley said with a hint of amazement.

"Hello, Ms. Langley. It is my pleasure."

"Hey, Jarvis," Tony cut in. "Have Dummy start making some coffee; we'll be back soon. And don't let him spill it!"

"Of course, sir. And if you didn't want him to be so clumsy, you could have made him a bit smarter," Jarvis said.

Tony ended the call and muttered, "Damn A.I.," under his breath.

"That," Pepper said, "was Jarvis."

"Huh. Well, I suggest you talk to James about the difference between Jarvis and God," Ms. Langley said.

"I was already planning on it," Pepper assured her.

"Can we leave now?" Without waiting for an answer, Tony stood up and headed for the door.

"Thank you for your time," Ms. Langley said. Pepper stood up and shook the teacher's hand again before following her husband to the car.

"Do you think we should tell Jarvis about this?" she asked playfully as she took Tony's hand and laced her fingers through his.

Tony squeezed Pepper's hand and said, "No. It'll only give him an ego boost."

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**What do you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review; let me know what you think!**


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